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Wednesday, June 3, 2009
Table of Contents
Tuesday, June 2, 2009
A Struggle Worth the Work
I am a care taker, I have been taking care of other people since I was very young with little regard to myself but this class changed that. I have always had a fascination with writing although I have never allowed myself the time to explore it. I made all the regular excuses, no time, now place, no way but in taking an English class that had as much to do with people as it did writing, I have decided that it’s time I took the time.
I have struggled in my English 101 class but I have also grown as a writer. I have taken some hits on what I have produced and while I haven’t always understood the corrections, I took the advice to heart. I believe that when you stop trying to write better, you lose what you can do. I pride myself in always learning. The interaction with other students through the blogs and discussion boards has provided great feedback which I will also take to heart. I was able to work on some issues such as communicating when I do have a problem and patience. I tend to write like I speak and that isn’t always appropriate.
The intermissions were a fun exercise. I enjoyed the discussions back and forth as well as seeing the films through others. It is always interesting to see how someone else viewed a film.
The themes of this quarter were interesting. I enjoyed the section on tradition and worked to figure out my own identity as well as explored my role as a contributing member to the many communities that I belong to. These themes, for me, were personal and thought provoking. As an individual I was allowed to give more thought and consideration to each of the themes and that is more than I would have on a normal basis. I will reflect on this class for some time to come.
The pieces that I picked for my e-portfolio are ones that I felt addressed the themes we were given. For the critical thinking piece I chose the paper, Identity and Family – We Are Our Socialization because I feel that this paper best represents my critical thinking. I started this piece with the thought that, “family is important and because of this concept everyone who has ever been a part of a family structure understands how family can shape your identity”. Although I was told that this was a “vague” beginning, in my opinion I felt that this was a true statement. I made the connection between family and identity.
My revision piece is the piece I titled, “Technology and Nursing – Changing with the Times”. I had felt strongly that this was a good paper but upon receiving it back I discovered a lot of things the instructors wanted changed. This paper is a good example of how editing is really needed and even, perhaps allowing someone else to go over your work. I felt that this was an important paper so I wanted to include it.
For my voice and audience piece I chose one of my timed writings. I had a good time being a part of the Lone Star discussions and I found it an incredibly interesting movie. I wrote the timed writing in a way to help others see the movie through my eyes. I learned a lot from the movie. In the timed writing I wrote, “my own perceptions of non-conformity were challenged a number of times by both the film and the discussions. I tend to think of myself as a no-nonsense kind of person who understands that a lot of the world exists in the grey area. I was surprised that the movie's writer appeared to feel the same way yet many of my peers did not”. This is a moving statement for me because the movie made me consider things I hadn’t before.
My writer’s choice is the “What’s in Your Wallet” blog. This writing was important to me because of the lessons it taught me about who I am. It made me realize that what I carry around with me is only part of the story about who I am. This made me think because if what’s in my wallet doesn’t tell the whole story than there are other things in my life that also don’t give a full picture either and we all use things of this type to judge each other. I had to think about that on a community level. What we do and what we carry can’t tell people who we are, it is all just a small part of the large story.
English 101 was not an easy class for me. Try as I might I seemed to make a lot of mistakes but in the long run I am glad that I took the class. It is fun to take an English course that is reflective of the outside world. It is much more interesting to learn while applying rather than learn and then wonder where on earth you’ll ever use the information. The writings I picked reflect the lessons I have learned and are the best of the work I have accomplished in English 101.
I have struggled in my English 101 class but I have also grown as a writer. I have taken some hits on what I have produced and while I haven’t always understood the corrections, I took the advice to heart. I believe that when you stop trying to write better, you lose what you can do. I pride myself in always learning. The interaction with other students through the blogs and discussion boards has provided great feedback which I will also take to heart. I was able to work on some issues such as communicating when I do have a problem and patience. I tend to write like I speak and that isn’t always appropriate.
The intermissions were a fun exercise. I enjoyed the discussions back and forth as well as seeing the films through others. It is always interesting to see how someone else viewed a film.
The themes of this quarter were interesting. I enjoyed the section on tradition and worked to figure out my own identity as well as explored my role as a contributing member to the many communities that I belong to. These themes, for me, were personal and thought provoking. As an individual I was allowed to give more thought and consideration to each of the themes and that is more than I would have on a normal basis. I will reflect on this class for some time to come.
The pieces that I picked for my e-portfolio are ones that I felt addressed the themes we were given. For the critical thinking piece I chose the paper, Identity and Family – We Are Our Socialization because I feel that this paper best represents my critical thinking. I started this piece with the thought that, “family is important and because of this concept everyone who has ever been a part of a family structure understands how family can shape your identity”. Although I was told that this was a “vague” beginning, in my opinion I felt that this was a true statement. I made the connection between family and identity.
My revision piece is the piece I titled, “Technology and Nursing – Changing with the Times”. I had felt strongly that this was a good paper but upon receiving it back I discovered a lot of things the instructors wanted changed. This paper is a good example of how editing is really needed and even, perhaps allowing someone else to go over your work. I felt that this was an important paper so I wanted to include it.
For my voice and audience piece I chose one of my timed writings. I had a good time being a part of the Lone Star discussions and I found it an incredibly interesting movie. I wrote the timed writing in a way to help others see the movie through my eyes. I learned a lot from the movie. In the timed writing I wrote, “my own perceptions of non-conformity were challenged a number of times by both the film and the discussions. I tend to think of myself as a no-nonsense kind of person who understands that a lot of the world exists in the grey area. I was surprised that the movie's writer appeared to feel the same way yet many of my peers did not”. This is a moving statement for me because the movie made me consider things I hadn’t before.
My writer’s choice is the “What’s in Your Wallet” blog. This writing was important to me because of the lessons it taught me about who I am. It made me realize that what I carry around with me is only part of the story about who I am. This made me think because if what’s in my wallet doesn’t tell the whole story than there are other things in my life that also don’t give a full picture either and we all use things of this type to judge each other. I had to think about that on a community level. What we do and what we carry can’t tell people who we are, it is all just a small part of the large story.
English 101 was not an easy class for me. Try as I might I seemed to make a lot of mistakes but in the long run I am glad that I took the class. It is fun to take an English course that is reflective of the outside world. It is much more interesting to learn while applying rather than learn and then wonder where on earth you’ll ever use the information. The writings I picked reflect the lessons I have learned and are the best of the work I have accomplished in English 101.
Doc I think it's Critical
For my critical thinking piece I chose my paper Identity and Family – We Are Our Socialization. Family is the most important single guide in the development of identity. There are countless studies that point out how important the family structure is to developing a good foundation for a healthy adult. The socialization that we experience within our families helps to develop our identity. The proof can be found by simply looking at one’s own family structure and an individuals’ development. I took my family into consideration and learned that my family had more to do with my identity than I realized.
Identity and Family – We Are Our Socialization
Family is important, this is a concept that anyone who has ever been a part of a family structure understands helps guide the development of identity. There are countless studies that point out how important the family structure is to developing a good foundation for a healthy adult. The socialization that we experience within our families helps to develop our identity. The proof can be found by simply looking at one’s own family structure and an individuals’ development.
In the essay “Baba and Daddy Gus” author bell hooks shows us that family socialization was a huge part of where she developed her identity by sharing the fact that her ideals for life came, to some degree, from her grandparents. She introduces the reader to her grandparents and then shows us how she felt about what she saw in their lives. Her view on what a relationship should be comes from watching and socializing with her grandparents. By the end of the essay, we see that what hooks takes with her from her experiences with her grandparents’ life lessons that add to who she is becoming. (p. 323) Her development into a woman whose values are anchored in what it means to have a good marriage have not come from what her grandparents have said to her but what she has observed just by being a part of their lives.
In the essay “Bowing Out”, by Ana Castillo, we see the effects of family socialization in reverse of the Hooks essay. This time we see the effects of family on identity from the eyes of the parent. Castillo notes how her son has developed and is developing as a man. She is taking stock of how his identity has developed based on what she has taught him. There is the impression, however, that she has not verbally “taught” him but that she has shown him by her examples and socialization with him. She talks of their “little chats”, (p. 186) and how they spoke of “where each of them were in their lives”. (p. 186) v. tense Castillo understands on some level that just being a part of her son’s life has allowed her to lead him into the person that he will identify himself as.
I can look back on my own life and see examples of the many family members who have had a hand in my developing my own identity. My grandparents and my parents have had a huge influence. What makes my experiences even more interesting is that I had a step-father who was around after my father passed away when I was 12 years old. I had already developed an identity when my step-father came along. Considering that now explains why he and I had a hard time. If your family and your socialization with them have a great effect on how you develop your identity, then I developed on sense of identity before my step-father came along and then had to adjust that identity when it was influenced by a completely different way of living. My two fathers could not have been any different. My father was gentle and compassionate, while my step-father was aggressive and stubborn. The identity I had developed from living with my father was opposite what it would have been had I started my life with my step-father. I didn’t see that then, but I can now. It is like living with one culture only to be picked up and taken out, placed with a completely different culture.
People of course adjust. But who I was when my step-father came into my life was who I had become due to the socialization with my father. Family socialization plays a huge part in whom we become and who we identify ourselves as. I notice, especially as I get older, that there are some things that I do that are a lot like my mother. I don’t necessarily want it that way, however, these are things that are a part of my identity. How I am raising my own children and how I make major life decisions is often dependant on my feelings regarding how I was raised. Often people wonder why they do the things that they do, and why they have become who they are, perhaps we need to look back at where we have come from and whom we spent time with as we developed our own identities. Once we do we will clearly see that who we identify ourselves to be has a whole lot to do with who we spent our time with as we developed our personality, and for most of us that would be our family.
In the essay “Baba and Daddy Gus” author bell hooks shows us that family socialization was a huge part of where she developed her identity by sharing the fact that her ideals for life came, to some degree, from her grandparents. She introduces the reader to her grandparents and then shows us how she felt about what she saw in their lives. Her view on what a relationship should be comes from watching and socializing with her grandparents. By the end of the essay, we see that what hooks takes with her from her experiences with her grandparents’ life lessons that add to who she is becoming. (p. 323) Her development into a woman whose values are anchored in what it means to have a good marriage have not come from what her grandparents have said to her but what she has observed just by being a part of their lives.
In the essay “Bowing Out”, by Ana Castillo, we see the effects of family socialization in reverse of the Hooks essay. This time we see the effects of family on identity from the eyes of the parent. Castillo notes how her son has developed and is developing as a man. She is taking stock of how his identity has developed based on what she has taught him. There is the impression, however, that she has not verbally “taught” him but that she has shown him by her examples and socialization with him. She talks of their “little chats”, (p. 186) and how they spoke of “where each of them were in their lives”. (p. 186) v. tense Castillo understands on some level that just being a part of her son’s life has allowed her to lead him into the person that he will identify himself as.
I can look back on my own life and see examples of the many family members who have had a hand in my developing my own identity. My grandparents and my parents have had a huge influence. What makes my experiences even more interesting is that I had a step-father who was around after my father passed away when I was 12 years old. I had already developed an identity when my step-father came along. Considering that now explains why he and I had a hard time. If your family and your socialization with them have a great effect on how you develop your identity, then I developed on sense of identity before my step-father came along and then had to adjust that identity when it was influenced by a completely different way of living. My two fathers could not have been any different. My father was gentle and compassionate, while my step-father was aggressive and stubborn. The identity I had developed from living with my father was opposite what it would have been had I started my life with my step-father. I didn’t see that then, but I can now. It is like living with one culture only to be picked up and taken out, placed with a completely different culture.
People of course adjust. But who I was when my step-father came into my life was who I had become due to the socialization with my father. Family socialization plays a huge part in whom we become and who we identify ourselves as. I notice, especially as I get older, that there are some things that I do that are a lot like my mother. I don’t necessarily want it that way, however, these are things that are a part of my identity. How I am raising my own children and how I make major life decisions is often dependant on my feelings regarding how I was raised. Often people wonder why they do the things that they do, and why they have become who they are, perhaps we need to look back at where we have come from and whom we spent time with as we developed our own identities. Once we do we will clearly see that who we identify ourselves to be has a whole lot to do with who we spent our time with as we developed our personality, and for most of us that would be our family.
Revising my Opinion
My revision piece is one that I had to eat a bit of crow on. I was so determined that I had it right that I was crushed to find out that I didn’t. After a lot of reflection I took to making some changes on my original and I now think that it is a much better piece. This particular piece centered on community. In the world of nursing is the closeness of the community that offers those of us who are a part of it a place. Even though nurses have gone through a lot of changes, becoming more of a patient advocate and a connection within the clinic and hospitals for patients, they are still a close community. I enjoy my work and my place within this sometimes hectic community. I am grateful for the wisdom and experience of my more experienced peers but even more than that I am grateful for the sense of family that I feel when I go to work.
Technology and Nursing – Changing with the Times
Nursing is quite a different practice than it was 15 years ago. The advent of technology has brought the medical field into the future and no one has been more affected than nurses. What began as a simple community service position has now changed greatly. Nurses have gone from those people who used to give shots and lollipops to community advocate, patient adviser as well as the connection between patient and doctor. It is interesting to see the changes and how the nursing professionals have dealt with them, in a big way it is reflective of how technology has changed life in the world community as a whole.
Tammy Stevens began her nursing career 25 years ago in a small clinic in Rhode Island. Life changes brought her to Washington State and soon after setting down basic roots, Tammy found a nursing position with a local clinic. The clinic had one doctor when she began and serviced a little over 50 patients. Today that same clinic has expanded to seven doctors and services hundreds of regular patients. Tammy has watched as the clinic has changed and developed into the full-service, technical clinic that it is today. “When I began working at the clinic we did everything by hand,” Tammy explains. “Charting was done by the nurses with an ink pen and your best handwriting, now everything is different.”
The change that Tammy finds most interesting is charting. Patients now have their records uploaded into a computer system that is maintained by the nursing staff. Long gone are the days, Tammy says, when nurses took a slip of paper from the doctor for a prescription and the patient takes that paper to the pharmacy where it is filled. Doctors now fill out a screen within the clinic’s computer system and the pharmacy gets a copy almost immediately. Tammy finds this both amazing and disturbing at the same time. “It is amazing in that it has streamlined the process but it is disturbing because it takes the human element out of the process,” Tammy explains.
What Tammy is experiencing is very much like the effects that technology is having on everyday life for the average person as well. There is a constant cry that technology is making each of us a number and that there is less human contact. Letters have been replaced with e-mails and shopping can be done on-line, all of this new technology yet taking out the interpersonal contact between community members.
One thing that has not changed however, despite the technology, is the feelings of community that the nurses within the office share. Tammy says that when she first came to the clinic there were three nurses, now the office has over twenty-four on the nursing staff. “I don’t think that we (the nurses) would have been able to keep up with the changes in technology were we not a close nit bunch,” Tammy says. “Throughout the years we have had to learn a lot and there have been some massive changes, if we hadn’t worked together we wouldn’t have gotten it done.” This goes a long way to prove that despite the hard work of keeping up with the technological changes, the nurses have maintained their community.
Being new to the clinic one can see right away what Tammy is talking about, but from a different aspect. Being new to the field of nursing and having come in as the technology has already been in place others look at the technology as a given rather than a change. This can make thing very interesting for new community members who join the micro community in the medical office. I see how the older nurses react to the technology and it makes me feel good to help them. In a way it has leveled the playing field between those who have been with the clinic a long time and those who are just now coming in. The older nurses have their wisdom to trade for our understanding of the technology that is now in place. This brings the nursing community even closer than it ever has been before because we now need each other, both young and old.
In Remix: Reading + Composing Culture we read about the assumptions that can be made about a community. (Remix, pg. 85-93) There are often times when a person will make assumptions about a community and I found myself doing so as well when I first began at the clinic. I walked in the first day and saw some of what I thought was the dynamics and decided that I might not “fit” in. It took me a few days to realize that what I was seeing was the community within the clinic and just like any other community I needed to be introduced in. I made assumptions based on what I had seen within other job related communities instead of giving it a chance and being patient. For instance, in an accounting office where I once worked the community feeling wasn’t there perhaps because the setting and personnel were so different from the medical field. Several days after I began I was welcomed in as though I had always been there. It seems as though the one thing that has not changed in the world of nursing is the closeness of the community. Even though nurses have gone on to have more responsibility than ever, becoming more of a patient advocate and a connection within the clinic and hospitals for patients, they are still a close community. I have worked other jobs throughout my adult life, but never have I felt the closeness that I feel within the nursing staff. They help each other to learn and to take care of their charges. There is a definite sense of family that I have not felt with other jobs. Technology has advanced but with it the sense of community appears to have grown as well. As a person who is just becoming a nurse I am grateful for the wisdom and experience of my older peers. I also am very aware that they realize I have something to offer as well. I believe the nursing community will stay strong for a long time to come as long as both young and mature work together to be more affective with both the old humanistic ways and with the new technology working hand in hand.
Tammy Stevens began her nursing career 25 years ago in a small clinic in Rhode Island. Life changes brought her to Washington State and soon after setting down basic roots, Tammy found a nursing position with a local clinic. The clinic had one doctor when she began and serviced a little over 50 patients. Today that same clinic has expanded to seven doctors and services hundreds of regular patients. Tammy has watched as the clinic has changed and developed into the full-service, technical clinic that it is today. “When I began working at the clinic we did everything by hand,” Tammy explains. “Charting was done by the nurses with an ink pen and your best handwriting, now everything is different.”
The change that Tammy finds most interesting is charting. Patients now have their records uploaded into a computer system that is maintained by the nursing staff. Long gone are the days, Tammy says, when nurses took a slip of paper from the doctor for a prescription and the patient takes that paper to the pharmacy where it is filled. Doctors now fill out a screen within the clinic’s computer system and the pharmacy gets a copy almost immediately. Tammy finds this both amazing and disturbing at the same time. “It is amazing in that it has streamlined the process but it is disturbing because it takes the human element out of the process,” Tammy explains.
What Tammy is experiencing is very much like the effects that technology is having on everyday life for the average person as well. There is a constant cry that technology is making each of us a number and that there is less human contact. Letters have been replaced with e-mails and shopping can be done on-line, all of this new technology yet taking out the interpersonal contact between community members.
One thing that has not changed however, despite the technology, is the feelings of community that the nurses within the office share. Tammy says that when she first came to the clinic there were three nurses, now the office has over twenty-four on the nursing staff. “I don’t think that we (the nurses) would have been able to keep up with the changes in technology were we not a close nit bunch,” Tammy says. “Throughout the years we have had to learn a lot and there have been some massive changes, if we hadn’t worked together we wouldn’t have gotten it done.” This goes a long way to prove that despite the hard work of keeping up with the technological changes, the nurses have maintained their community.
Being new to the clinic one can see right away what Tammy is talking about, but from a different aspect. Being new to the field of nursing and having come in as the technology has already been in place others look at the technology as a given rather than a change. This can make thing very interesting for new community members who join the micro community in the medical office. I see how the older nurses react to the technology and it makes me feel good to help them. In a way it has leveled the playing field between those who have been with the clinic a long time and those who are just now coming in. The older nurses have their wisdom to trade for our understanding of the technology that is now in place. This brings the nursing community even closer than it ever has been before because we now need each other, both young and old.
In Remix: Reading + Composing Culture we read about the assumptions that can be made about a community. (Remix, pg. 85-93) There are often times when a person will make assumptions about a community and I found myself doing so as well when I first began at the clinic. I walked in the first day and saw some of what I thought was the dynamics and decided that I might not “fit” in. It took me a few days to realize that what I was seeing was the community within the clinic and just like any other community I needed to be introduced in. I made assumptions based on what I had seen within other job related communities instead of giving it a chance and being patient. For instance, in an accounting office where I once worked the community feeling wasn’t there perhaps because the setting and personnel were so different from the medical field. Several days after I began I was welcomed in as though I had always been there. It seems as though the one thing that has not changed in the world of nursing is the closeness of the community. Even though nurses have gone on to have more responsibility than ever, becoming more of a patient advocate and a connection within the clinic and hospitals for patients, they are still a close community. I have worked other jobs throughout my adult life, but never have I felt the closeness that I feel within the nursing staff. They help each other to learn and to take care of their charges. There is a definite sense of family that I have not felt with other jobs. Technology has advanced but with it the sense of community appears to have grown as well. As a person who is just becoming a nurse I am grateful for the wisdom and experience of my older peers. I also am very aware that they realize I have something to offer as well. I believe the nursing community will stay strong for a long time to come as long as both young and mature work together to be more affective with both the old humanistic ways and with the new technology working hand in hand.
The Voices of Many
My voice and audience piece is one of our film talk timed writings. I choose this because, for me, it really speaks to voice due to the subject matter. The movie Lone Star really affected me. I hadn’t thought much about power and how it can end up in the wrong hands so easily and apparently with what looks like the consent of those who are being bullied. When I thought about “voice” it made sense for me to use this assignment. It is all about voice. The voice of the past seeping out from the grave, the voice of the future heard in a decision to ignore the norm and the voice of racism sewn throughout the movie like a blanket smothering the life out of the community as a whole.
Sometimes Perceptions Are Wrong
My own perceptions of non-conformity were challenged a number of times by both the film, Lone Star, and the discussions with my classmates. I tend to think of myself as a no-nonsense kind of person who understands that a lot of the world exists in the grey area. I was surprised that the movie's writer appeared to feel the same way yet many of my peers did not.
In the movie the sense of what is right and wrong was tested over and over again. Each character appeared to have had their own personal issues that made them make decisions that none of us would prefer to make. For instance, Sam was forced to reexamine his relationship with the women he loved. He had to make a decision that may not be socially acceptable but he seemed to reason it out within himself that the mistake made was his father's and therefore didn’t affect his relationship with Pilar. The fact that they shared the same father was something that apparently they were both choosing to overlook. For me this would be crossing that line. I understand why they wanted to make that decision but actually following through with it was taking a walk on the dark side. I was surprised that more of my peers did not pick up on this interesting ending.
Hollis, the deputy, also had to make a decision to cross the line when he shot Wade. You got the impression that he was a law abiding guy but Wade pushed him too far. Being the sole witness to all of Wade's crimes, Hollis obviously felt that shooting him was the only way to stop him. There were a few classmates who felt that it was wrong for Hollis to have stepped over this line but I think I understand. He must have been fighting his loyalty to the brotherhood of police as well as his loyalty to "white" people. The people whom Wade was killing and taking advantage of were minorities. For Hollis to step up and cross the line meant that he turn his back on several of his own internal communities.
Another part of the movie that challenged my views of conformity was the way in which Otis' boss expected him to cater to Wade. While I know that this takes place and I understand that the person telling the other to conform is trying to help the victim, it is still hard to watch. I had to wonder that if more people had stood up to Wade would he be able to do what he did. My guess is no, but then this movie was also a great study in power, where it often lies and how it works against the majority. Fear was a powerful tool in this film and in making people cross the line and do things they would not otherwise have done. There was Sam's fear of losing Pilar, Hollis' fear that Wade would never stop hurting people, Pilar's mother's fear of looking like a wetback as well as her fear of not being American enough and Otis' fear of his son never accepting him. Every character had strong personal reasons and motivation for doing what they chose to do.
Many of my classmates saw this film from a very one-sided stance. They accepted the simple upfront explanations for why the characters did what they did. I tried to look beyond that and think about the motivation behind their actions. I don't believe that anyone does anything for simple reasons, I think to make the decision to cross a line that has been laid out either by society or community or even personally a person has to feel like their backs are up against the wall. Something has to threaten them or the ones they love. This film had all of that.
Often we hear people say, "I would never do that", I personally think that this is something a person should never say because truly, you don't know. In someone else's shoes, in their pain or position we don't really know what we would do. In the case of Pilar and Sam deciding to stay together despite the revelation that they shared the same father was hard for me to understand. This was the one decision in the film that was hard for me to swallow yet I had to stop and think about it from their points of view. They had felt torn apart for years because of what Buddy did at the drive-in. They felt like they, as a couple never got a chance. They didn't know that, at the time, Pilar's mother and Buddy had a good reason for separating them. Not knowing they continued to yearn for each other and once they rediscovered each other they didn't want to let go, even if it meant an incestuous relationship. To be in love that hard has to be something else. I'd like to think that I would have made the decision not to cross the line on that one but in retrospect, who knows.
So this film made me question myself, my peers and reality to some degree. I think after having watched it I realize that everyone has a breaking point whether it is to protect you, someone you love or, at times, even total strangers. Our view of right and wrong is in constant flow and anyone who would tell you differently, well, they just aren’t being realistic.
In the movie the sense of what is right and wrong was tested over and over again. Each character appeared to have had their own personal issues that made them make decisions that none of us would prefer to make. For instance, Sam was forced to reexamine his relationship with the women he loved. He had to make a decision that may not be socially acceptable but he seemed to reason it out within himself that the mistake made was his father's and therefore didn’t affect his relationship with Pilar. The fact that they shared the same father was something that apparently they were both choosing to overlook. For me this would be crossing that line. I understand why they wanted to make that decision but actually following through with it was taking a walk on the dark side. I was surprised that more of my peers did not pick up on this interesting ending.
Hollis, the deputy, also had to make a decision to cross the line when he shot Wade. You got the impression that he was a law abiding guy but Wade pushed him too far. Being the sole witness to all of Wade's crimes, Hollis obviously felt that shooting him was the only way to stop him. There were a few classmates who felt that it was wrong for Hollis to have stepped over this line but I think I understand. He must have been fighting his loyalty to the brotherhood of police as well as his loyalty to "white" people. The people whom Wade was killing and taking advantage of were minorities. For Hollis to step up and cross the line meant that he turn his back on several of his own internal communities.
Another part of the movie that challenged my views of conformity was the way in which Otis' boss expected him to cater to Wade. While I know that this takes place and I understand that the person telling the other to conform is trying to help the victim, it is still hard to watch. I had to wonder that if more people had stood up to Wade would he be able to do what he did. My guess is no, but then this movie was also a great study in power, where it often lies and how it works against the majority. Fear was a powerful tool in this film and in making people cross the line and do things they would not otherwise have done. There was Sam's fear of losing Pilar, Hollis' fear that Wade would never stop hurting people, Pilar's mother's fear of looking like a wetback as well as her fear of not being American enough and Otis' fear of his son never accepting him. Every character had strong personal reasons and motivation for doing what they chose to do.
Many of my classmates saw this film from a very one-sided stance. They accepted the simple upfront explanations for why the characters did what they did. I tried to look beyond that and think about the motivation behind their actions. I don't believe that anyone does anything for simple reasons, I think to make the decision to cross a line that has been laid out either by society or community or even personally a person has to feel like their backs are up against the wall. Something has to threaten them or the ones they love. This film had all of that.
Often we hear people say, "I would never do that", I personally think that this is something a person should never say because truly, you don't know. In someone else's shoes, in their pain or position we don't really know what we would do. In the case of Pilar and Sam deciding to stay together despite the revelation that they shared the same father was hard for me to understand. This was the one decision in the film that was hard for me to swallow yet I had to stop and think about it from their points of view. They had felt torn apart for years because of what Buddy did at the drive-in. They felt like they, as a couple never got a chance. They didn't know that, at the time, Pilar's mother and Buddy had a good reason for separating them. Not knowing they continued to yearn for each other and once they rediscovered each other they didn't want to let go, even if it meant an incestuous relationship. To be in love that hard has to be something else. I'd like to think that I would have made the decision not to cross the line on that one but in retrospect, who knows.
So this film made me question myself, my peers and reality to some degree. I think after having watched it I realize that everyone has a breaking point whether it is to protect you, someone you love or, at times, even total strangers. Our view of right and wrong is in constant flow and anyone who would tell you differently, well, they just aren’t being realistic.
Introducing Me - Writer's Choice...My Choice
My wallet said more about me than I expected and some of it was misinformation. I was intrigued by this assignment and surprised about what doing it would tell me about myself. I wonder now how many people consider what they carry in their wallets or purses. My wallet said some things that I would rather not share, I lie about my weight, I show signs of OCD and I’d rather pay cash. It also revealed some things about me that I myself hadn’t realized such as I would be lost without my wallet, I can be a bit messy and try as I might I can’t hide from my past.
It made sense to use this paper as my Writer’s Choice because, after all, choice, my choice, is what puts all of that stuff in my wallet to begin with.
It made sense to use this paper as my Writer’s Choice because, after all, choice, my choice, is what puts all of that stuff in my wallet to begin with.
My Wallet and Me
The things in my wallet tend to be a little disorganized. This is not a direct reflection on my being unorganized but it does say something about what kind of a hurry I am in all the time. I tend to stuff things into my wallet and it shows.My license shows my general information but I, like most every other woman I know, fudged on the weight question. I didn’t go too overboard though. The money in my wallet is not the least bit organized. I pay for stuff and then shove the change into my wallet. I don’t count it until I really have to. I guess that could give the impression that I’m not concerned about money but I am.I also have a lot of receipts in my wallet. This is directly connected to my past life as an accountant. Old habits die hard I guess. I empty them only when I can no longer shut my wallet. I probably have Wal-Mart receipts from 1998.I don’t have any credit cards which might give the impression that I don’t have access to credit but the truth is I don’t like them. If I can’t pay cash, I don’t want it. I hate the idea of being in debt…again old accounting ways I’m sure.The photos I carry are of my kids. I hope that this shows that I care very much for them, because I do. I do have a vast collection of small notes to myself regarding groceries, things to do, stuff to remember. I think that is my attempt to stay on top of things.I guess my wallet does say something about me to some degree. I do think about making sure that I am keeping track of my life be it through receipts or small snippets of cards and notes, do this, remember that, pick up milk, drop off a book…I guess if I lost my wallet I would be a little lost but then so would anyone else who actually found it.
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