Family is important, this is a concept that anyone who has ever been a part of a family structure understands helps guide the development of identity. There are countless studies that point out how important the family structure is to developing a good foundation for a healthy adult. The socialization that we experience within our families helps to develop our identity. The proof can be found by simply looking at one’s own family structure and an individuals’ development.
In the essay “Baba and Daddy Gus” author bell hooks shows us that family socialization was a huge part of where she developed her identity by sharing the fact that her ideals for life came, to some degree, from her grandparents. She introduces the reader to her grandparents and then shows us how she felt about what she saw in their lives. Her view on what a relationship should be comes from watching and socializing with her grandparents. By the end of the essay, we see that what hooks takes with her from her experiences with her grandparents’ life lessons that add to who she is becoming. (p. 323) Her development into a woman whose values are anchored in what it means to have a good marriage have not come from what her grandparents have said to her but what she has observed just by being a part of their lives.
In the essay “Bowing Out”, by Ana Castillo, we see the effects of family socialization in reverse of the Hooks essay. This time we see the effects of family on identity from the eyes of the parent. Castillo notes how her son has developed and is developing as a man. She is taking stock of how his identity has developed based on what she has taught him. There is the impression, however, that she has not verbally “taught” him but that she has shown him by her examples and socialization with him. She talks of their “little chats”, (p. 186) and how they spoke of “where each of them were in their lives”. (p. 186) v. tense Castillo understands on some level that just being a part of her son’s life has allowed her to lead him into the person that he will identify himself as.
I can look back on my own life and see examples of the many family members who have had a hand in my developing my own identity. My grandparents and my parents have had a huge influence. What makes my experiences even more interesting is that I had a step-father who was around after my father passed away when I was 12 years old. I had already developed an identity when my step-father came along. Considering that now explains why he and I had a hard time. If your family and your socialization with them have a great effect on how you develop your identity, then I developed on sense of identity before my step-father came along and then had to adjust that identity when it was influenced by a completely different way of living. My two fathers could not have been any different. My father was gentle and compassionate, while my step-father was aggressive and stubborn. The identity I had developed from living with my father was opposite what it would have been had I started my life with my step-father. I didn’t see that then, but I can now. It is like living with one culture only to be picked up and taken out, placed with a completely different culture.
People of course adjust. But who I was when my step-father came into my life was who I had become due to the socialization with my father. Family socialization plays a huge part in whom we become and who we identify ourselves as. I notice, especially as I get older, that there are some things that I do that are a lot like my mother. I don’t necessarily want it that way, however, these are things that are a part of my identity. How I am raising my own children and how I make major life decisions is often dependant on my feelings regarding how I was raised. Often people wonder why they do the things that they do, and why they have become who they are, perhaps we need to look back at where we have come from and whom we spent time with as we developed our own identities. Once we do we will clearly see that who we identify ourselves to be has a whole lot to do with who we spent our time with as we developed our personality, and for most of us that would be our family.
In the essay “Baba and Daddy Gus” author bell hooks shows us that family socialization was a huge part of where she developed her identity by sharing the fact that her ideals for life came, to some degree, from her grandparents. She introduces the reader to her grandparents and then shows us how she felt about what she saw in their lives. Her view on what a relationship should be comes from watching and socializing with her grandparents. By the end of the essay, we see that what hooks takes with her from her experiences with her grandparents’ life lessons that add to who she is becoming. (p. 323) Her development into a woman whose values are anchored in what it means to have a good marriage have not come from what her grandparents have said to her but what she has observed just by being a part of their lives.
In the essay “Bowing Out”, by Ana Castillo, we see the effects of family socialization in reverse of the Hooks essay. This time we see the effects of family on identity from the eyes of the parent. Castillo notes how her son has developed and is developing as a man. She is taking stock of how his identity has developed based on what she has taught him. There is the impression, however, that she has not verbally “taught” him but that she has shown him by her examples and socialization with him. She talks of their “little chats”, (p. 186) and how they spoke of “where each of them were in their lives”. (p. 186) v. tense Castillo understands on some level that just being a part of her son’s life has allowed her to lead him into the person that he will identify himself as.
I can look back on my own life and see examples of the many family members who have had a hand in my developing my own identity. My grandparents and my parents have had a huge influence. What makes my experiences even more interesting is that I had a step-father who was around after my father passed away when I was 12 years old. I had already developed an identity when my step-father came along. Considering that now explains why he and I had a hard time. If your family and your socialization with them have a great effect on how you develop your identity, then I developed on sense of identity before my step-father came along and then had to adjust that identity when it was influenced by a completely different way of living. My two fathers could not have been any different. My father was gentle and compassionate, while my step-father was aggressive and stubborn. The identity I had developed from living with my father was opposite what it would have been had I started my life with my step-father. I didn’t see that then, but I can now. It is like living with one culture only to be picked up and taken out, placed with a completely different culture.
People of course adjust. But who I was when my step-father came into my life was who I had become due to the socialization with my father. Family socialization plays a huge part in whom we become and who we identify ourselves as. I notice, especially as I get older, that there are some things that I do that are a lot like my mother. I don’t necessarily want it that way, however, these are things that are a part of my identity. How I am raising my own children and how I make major life decisions is often dependant on my feelings regarding how I was raised. Often people wonder why they do the things that they do, and why they have become who they are, perhaps we need to look back at where we have come from and whom we spent time with as we developed our own identities. Once we do we will clearly see that who we identify ourselves to be has a whole lot to do with who we spent our time with as we developed our personality, and for most of us that would be our family.
No comments:
Post a Comment